I Went All Crazy and Now I’m Back to Normal (well, sorta)

I’m not ashamed to say I have been confused thinking God is or isn’t speaking to me.  It simply means more prayer time and I really LOVE praying.  I do.  I love praying for people, things, circumstances…I’m becoming a prayer warrior.  I like it!

I have had a draw to Ukraine since the beginning (well, almost).  Ukraine’s adoption process is quite different from Bulgaria’s.  Travel time, referral of children etc.

Dan has not had a Ukranian draw.  It’s growing on him, and the idea of a second adoption in Ukraine is easier for him to grasp than our initial adoption voyage.  Travel time is unpredictable and lengthy.  I think traveling to a “far away land” with the kids would be such an experience!

I began to second guess myself whether we should continue pursuing our Bulgarian princess.  It hurt Dan deeply and I didn’t like watching him ache.  He is attached to our daughter and can’t imagine life without her being here…eventually.

I wondered if another family might be better suited to meet her needs.  Questioning everything we already believed in.  I’m thankful God let Dan let me explore, and the end result was quite beautiful really.

Dan has experienced a level of frustration in his walk with the Lord where he is still trying to find his own niche.  Me, I love worshiping the Lord!  Singing beautiful praise songs, prayers with a few words, or quiet time with Him.  Dan can’t copy my walk, he needs to find his own path.  God is revealing it step stone by step stone.

The other night, while folding laundry before bed…Dan finally…very certainly said, “There is no better family for her…Let’s just do it!”  He was very sure of himself, and I was very proud of him.  He had let the Lord speak to his heart and he responded.

I had already known this in my heart when I too began trying to conjure up characteristics of a family better suited for our daughter.  There simply wasn’t one.  WE are IT!  She is already our daughter in our hearts, we’re just waiting for the rest to happen.

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