The Spirit is willing…but that flesh….!

Weak. 

I want to lose my mind.  I want to stop and cry for a LOOOONG time.  I want to raise my hands and ask, “Why does it have to be so hard?!”  And what I want most, is to have our girls HOME.  Here.  With their family.  Enjoying the life God created for them.  Home.  With their Mama.  Wrapping my arms around them and soaking them up, just like I get to do with their brothers as often as I please. 

Instead, I will call USCIS to see how long we will be waiting.  I will call Lowes to see if we will still get their grant and when we can actually make a purchase.  I will substantiate an actual plan for NEXT SATURDAY (oy vey).  Supplies must be ordered…Halliburton’s check was deposited yesterday with Both Hands and JT is ordering everything we need for us. 

Instead, I will look at Mayah’s new picture and long for her…finding solace being wrapped in the arms of the One that made ME.

HE is my strength.

He is my provider.

I will remain in HIM.

He WILL keep my path straight.

So….let’s move on to some happiness….she looks almost the same…but beautiful to say the least.  Her eyes whisper “I’m waiting for you…I know there is a better life.”

If you are following along with us…please pray for me.  Pray I regain my strength through the LORD.  God even gave me a word on that this morning…when my house was still…..silent.  Don’t get me wrong…the whirlwind which is the Dziagwa household on a regular basis is the ONLY way I want this house.  I have to find the quiet…very early in the morning.

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4 responses »

  1. Hang on Tammy~ You are soooo close! Praying for your peace during this time. And also for your girls to be loved and well cared for as they wait for you.

  2. I love Mayah, thanks for this post, it helps me keep things in perspective. She is beautiful and I want to hold her and tell her that I love her too and that I have been praying for her to a God that loves her so much.

    I love you Tammy D, it is beautiful to see you decrease and the Spirit of God increase in you. What a work He is doing in you and the lives of all that you touch! To God be the glory!

  3. Tammy,
    I finally made it over here!
    I know it is so hard to wait on documents, especially when one paper is ALL you need. I am amazed that you are THAT close to being done. I feel like we are just beginning.
    Joy

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